Waiting...

This week is a lot of waiting for our family--waiting to hear from the Army what the next two years of our lives will be like (we've been waiting since February!); waiting to hear from the adoption agencies about whether anyone will take us (okay, that's only four days, but as you know from earlier posts, timing is everything right now); waiting for the weekend, when Jake can be home again (but that's every week, of course).  I'm not good at waiting.  I'm a planner. I need to know what is going on so I can know what to do.  I hate it when I don't know what to do next.  

I woke up this morning feeling extra un-waity today.  Frankly, the week has been exhausting and a huge roller-coaster emotionally. I've just kind of had it! I might even have said that out loud as I hauled myself out of bed.

Then I started thinking about this old gospel song. I've been singing it as long as I've been able to sing. It was one of my great-grandmother's favorites.  When you hear the words, you'll know exactly who put that song in my head:

Teach me, Lord, to wait

down on my knees,

'til in Your own good time

You'll answer my pleas.

Teach me not to rely

on what others do,

but to wait in prayer

for an answer from You.

Yep, I needed to hear that.  It's taken from a passage in the Old Testament, Isaiah 40:31.  If you are reading a Bible with headings in it, this passage is under "The Greatness of God." And it says "but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not grow weary; they shall walk and not faint."  Basically, just hang in there, God's got you!  Man, I really needed that too!  And afterward, I felt so much better, and renewed to face another day.

But apparently God was not done with me yet this morning.  Howie and I got in the car, turned on the radio, and got another message about waiting on KSBJ.  This one is is one of my favorites, called "While I'm Waiting," by John Waller.  If you want to hear it, you can check it out here.  Anyway, the chorus goes like this:

While I'm waiting,

I will serve You.

While I'm waiting,

I will worship.

While I'm waiting,

I will not fade.

I'll be running the race,

even while I wait.

Wow, was that a wake-up call.  See, if I'm waiting, I tend to obsess.  I'll plan scenarios and try to figure out what we'll do if A or B or C comes to pass. I swear, I'd have been awesome at writing "choose your own adventure" books I extrapolate so well.  But the problem is that in the meantime I feel really stuck. And I act stuck.  And as a Christian, that's a problem.  I'm not just supposed to wait on the Lord, I'm supposed to be doing in the meantime.  It made me wonder if part of the reason I feel so lost is that I'm not doing what I am supposed to while we wait; I'm neglecting my purpose here.  So today, I will take a deep breath, focus on what needs doing today, and find a way to glorify God.  The answers will come.

Thanks Lord, I needed that.